Nearly 70 per cent of them went to private school
The endless debates over which halls of residence has the most poshos in it can be put to bed once and for all.
The Tab can officially reveal that Churchill Hall is the poshest halls of residence, with a whopping 68.7 per cent of residents enjoying the luxuries of a private school background.
Want to know how many Hectors and Hugos with double-barelled surnames are crawling round your halls? Here’s a complete run-down of the top 10 “posh halls”.
10 – Favell House
Percentage of residents from a private school: 22%
Stoke Bishop residents have probably never heard of Favell due to its city-centre location and it seems none of the private school kids heard of it either. We’re going to assume the few posh kids that did end up here are gutted they missed out on both their first and second choice accommodation.
9 – Hiatt Baker (Self-catered)
Percentage of residents from a private school: 22.8%
The new kid on the block with about as much history as Susan Boyle’s love life, Hiatt Baker’s self-catered rooms clearly lack appeal for people used to being given everything in life on a plate. Sure, the rooms are new but this is no mega-mansion in comparison to the grandeur of Eton-esque Wills and Churchill.
8 – The Rackhay
Percentage of residents from a private school: 23.8%
Yep, we couldn’t believe people actually live here either. Things are so dire that residents have to use the common room in neighbouring Waverley House. Anyone that ended up here must have been the victim of a cruel prank. Even the state schoolers.
7 – Clifton Hill House
Percentage of residents from a private school: 24.4%
Located in a listed Palladian Villa in posh Clifton, this hall could almost out-sloane Sloane Square. Clifton Hill House was the first women’s hall in Bristol and before the days of Tinder the allegiance between Wills Hall and Clifton Hill House provided better hook-up prospects than ScrewFix does for builders.
6 – Durdham Hall
Percentage of residents from a private school: 26.7%
Ahh, Durdham, the laughing stock of Stoke Bishop. Suprisingly much like everything about Durdham it’s posh score is unremarkable. How interesting. Next!
5 – Waverley House
Percentage of residents from a private school: 27.1%
Squeaking into the top five is the city centre’s poshest hall, a hall known for being grimier than Jimmy Saville’s bedsheets. In fact it’s so grimy two boys were recently evicted following a game of hide-and-seek involving their faeces and other peoples’ bedrooms.
4 – Badock Hall
Percentage of residents from a private school: 61.6%
If Derek Zoolander ever opened his Center For Children Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too and elected the school uniform policy to be his Derelicte fashion line then Badock would be it. Amusingly all those trappings of poverty people from Badock dress up in are a lie, they’re actually all insanely posh.
3 – Wills Hall
Percentage of residents from a private school: 62.9%
Given all the class-related abuse Wills residents get you’d expect them to come second at least, but no. We’ve all experienced the red trousers, copper coin disposals and Hogwarts impressions, but it turns out Wills aren’t even any good at being posh. Having said that, privately educated freshers still out-number “normals” nearly two to one so it’s probably okay to keep chanting “I would rather have my daddy pay the bills” and “If you can’t play croquet you’re a cunt”.
2 – Hiatt Baker Hall (Catered)
Percentage of residents from a private school: 63.3%
It’s a surprising silver medal for the home of tracksuit-wearing, big coat-donning psuedo-gangsters who couldn’t quite hack the wavey train of Badock. Now though we all know they go home every weekend in Daddy’s Aston and play find-the-fox-with-a-pack-of-hounds with childhood chums Augustus, Hugo and Tarquin. Busted?
1 – Churchill Hall
Percentage of residents from a private school: 68.7%
The fact everyone in Churchill takes a taxi to Bunker should have clued us in to be honest. Almost 70 per cent of Churchill freshers went to a private school, with only 109 residents coming from a state school background. Rumour has it this group are actually nannies and housemaids posing as History of Art students and on hand to wait on the rest of the hall.
A few more facts for you…
On average, Stoke Bishop halls house a 50/50 split between private and state school freshers. Halls outside of Stoke Bishop have far less private school kids, with an average of only 20%. Combined, the total average of privately educated freshers per hall is 34.4%.
At the other end of the scale, Woodland Road and Blenheim are home to no private school kids at all. However, they only house 23 freshers combined so that’s perhaps not too surprising.