Clubbing doesn’t get better than this
Sit down. Gather round. Grab a can of beer and listen. Let me let you in on the best kept secret in this city: Syndicate is by far and away, uncontestably, absolutely the best nightclub in Bristol.
From my first magical night in freshers week I knew I had found a love whose month would ever be May. Take your Motions, your Pams, your Blue Mountains: take them and shove them into the clubland bin. I’ve been to them all and they’ve all been left in Syndi’s shadow.
These are the reasons why Syndicate leaves every other sweaty, sticky pulling palace in the dirt.
Top guests and DJs
Syndicate regularly has top DJs, artists and rubbish celebs coming to visit. And to top it all off, on the first night of freshers, they had Jamie Laing as their guest.
I stood within ten feet of a guy who’s called a cunt at least ten times a day on social media. What a privilege. It’s like going to a mass run by the Pope. An actual C-list celebrity! How many of those do you get in Pams? What more could you ask for?
Awesome lighting and sound
The sound and lighting systems in Syndicate are not just good but exceptional. It owns a Funktion 1 sound system (that’s a whole lot of technology), which is pretty much as good as it gets for nightclubs this side of Berlin.
People in Syndicate are there to have a good time. It’s not full of people taking themselves and their music too seriously. In Bristol, it’s refreshing to be in a place where people aren’t gurning their cheekbones away into a boneless mush.
This is a club for people who want to pull, have a drink and have a laugh with their mates. A club for people who are probably on the wrong side of thirty. A club without wavey garms and people in the smoking area rambling about their decision last week to start being a vegan.
A club for people who know Sak Noel isn’t just good but truly fucking great.
A fair location
Syndicate is located in the centre of Bristol, within a reasonable location for most people, especially for those living in the city centre. Although it’s not as well situated as Bunker, Lounge or Lola Lo’s, it’s not too far away from anybody.
What’s more, the local kebab shop is better, and cheaper, than Donervans. It also serves Pizza. BAM. Think about that for a second. You can leave Syndicate (assuming you haven’t pulled, which is unlikely in Syndi) and buy a Pizza AND a kebab.
Pizza. And. A. Kebab.
Reasonably priced and generous
A big night out at Syndicate barely costs a fraction of what a night jamming at drug dens such as Lakota and Motion will set you back. The general cost of a night is £5, even for big events such as Halloween, whereas Motion tickets were recently being flogged as high as £45 to see some guy everyone is pretending to have heard of blast out some pre-recorded rubbish.
Also, during my time, Syndicate has generously laid on loads of free drinks for certain groups and socials. When was the last time you were given free bombs at The Love Inn? That’s right: never.
Batman has a Batcave. Don Draper has his drinks cabinet. Hamlet has his walking around and moaning and being a bit of a prick. Like these giants of pop culture Syndi has a defining aspect: the Syndibooth.
The club has its own inventively named photo booth where one can take cringey photos to their hearts content. If you wanted to you could roll into Syndi, down a few more Jagers and just chill in the booth all night long. It’s a great place to get chatting with members of the opposite sex as well.
Admittedly they put a nasty looking blue frame on all the photos uploaded to their Facebook page, but it’s still better than anything any other Bristol club has to offer. Does Lounge have a Lizard-booth? No, it doesn’t. And that’s why they’re amateurs.
A wide range of music
It has a wide range of music, from EDM to cringy 90’s classics as well as an R&B room. The main dancefloor is normally buzzing (if a little crowded) and upstairs is a more chilled out vibe.
“Oh but mate, Motion and Lakota get such good acts.”
Oh yeah I forgot, I’ve always dreamed of seeing Flowdan and Radikal Guru live, playing their tracks… Well it doesn’t really deserve the title of music, more just an incessant pre-recorded beat that only sounds amazing to drugged up ears.
The haters dismiss Syndicate as “a place you go after a few drinks on a Friday and nothing more” but the reality, I believe, is rather different. Embrace your nights out at Syndicate, because as far as Bristol’s nightlife is concerned, it’s as good as it gets. The self-proclaimed “superclub” is, in fact, a super club.