Clubbing doesn’t get better than this

Sit down. Gather round. Grab a can of beer and listen. Let me let you in on the best kept secret in this city: Syndicate is by far and away, uncontestably, absolutely the best nightclub in Bristol.

From my first magical night in freshers week I knew I had found a love whose month would ever be May. Take your Motions, your Pams, your Blue Mountains: take them and shove them into the clubland bin. I’ve been to them all and they’ve all been left in Syndi’s shadow.

These are the reasons why Syndicate leaves every other sweaty, sticky pulling palace in the dirt.

Top guests and DJs

Syndicate regularly has top DJs, artists and rubbish celebs coming to visit. And to top it all off, on the first night of freshers, they had Jamie Laing as their guest.

I stood within ten feet of a guy who’s called a cunt at least ten times a day on social media. What a privilege. It’s like going to a mass run by the Pope. An actual C-list celebrity! How many of those do you get in Pams? What more could you ask for?

Sadly I didn't get to meet MiC star Jamie Laing, but I could have...

Sadly I didn’t get to meet MiC star Jamie Laing, but I could have…

Awesome lighting and sound

The sound and lighting systems in Syndicate are not just good but exceptional. It owns a Funktion 1 sound system (that’s a whole lot of technology), which is pretty much as good as it gets for nightclubs this side of Berlin.

Now that's a party

Now that’s a party

Good atmosphere

People in Syndicate are there to have a good time. It’s not full of people taking themselves and their music too seriously. In Bristol, it’s refreshing to be in a place where people aren’t gurning their cheekbones away into a boneless mush.

This is a club for people who want to pull, have a drink and have a laugh with their mates. A club for people who are probably on the wrong side of thirty. A club without wavey garms and people in the smoking area rambling about their decision last week to start being a vegan.

A club for people who know Sak Noel isn’t just good but truly fucking great.

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Sick atmosphere in Syndi

 

A fair location

Syndicate is located in the centre of Bristol, within a reasonable location for most people, especially for those living in the city centre. Although it’s not as well situated as Bunker, Lounge or Lola Lo’s, it’s not too far away from anybody.

This lot are rowdy because they're in such a fair location

This lot are rowdy because they’re in such a fair location

What’s more, the local kebab shop is better, and cheaper, than Donervans. It also serves Pizza. BAM. Think about that for a second. You can leave Syndicate (assuming you haven’t pulled, which is unlikely in Syndi) and buy a Pizza AND a kebab.

Pizza. And. A. Kebab.

Reasonably priced and generous

A big night out at Syndicate barely costs a fraction of what a night jamming at drug dens such as Lakota and Motion will set you back. The general cost of a night is £5, even for big events such as Halloween, whereas Motion tickets were recently being flogged as high as £45 to see some guy everyone is pretending to have heard of blast out some pre-recorded rubbish.

Also, during my time, Syndicate has generously laid on loads of free drinks for certain groups and socials. When was the last time you were given free bombs at The Love Inn? That’s right: never.

They're not going to be giving you free bombs, ok?

They’re not going to be giving you free bombs, ok?

Syndibooth

Batman has a Batcave. Don Draper has his drinks cabinet. Hamlet has his walking around and moaning and being a bit of a prick. Like these giants of pop culture Syndi has a defining aspect: the Syndibooth.

The club has its own inventively named photo booth where one can take cringey photos to their hearts content. If you wanted to you could roll into Syndi, down a few more Jagers and just chill in the booth all night long. It’s a great place to get chatting with members of the opposite sex as well.

Admittedly they put a nasty looking blue frame on all the photos uploaded to their Facebook page, but it’s still better than anything any other Bristol club has to offer. Does Lounge have a Lizard-booth? No, it doesn’t. And that’s why they’re amateurs.

Say cheese...

Say cheese…

A wide range of music

It has a wide range of music, from EDM to cringy 90’s classics as well as an R&B room. The main dancefloor is normally buzzing (if a little crowded) and upstairs is a more chilled out vibe.

syndicate

Everyone in this pic is loving life and loving Syni

“Oh but mate, Motion and Lakota get such good acts.”

Oh yeah I forgot, I’ve always dreamed of seeing Flowdan and Radikal Guru live, playing their tracks… Well it doesn’t really deserve the title of music, more just an incessant pre-recorded beat that only sounds amazing to drugged up ears.

Conclusions

The haters dismiss Syndicate as “a place you go after a few drinks on a Friday and nothing more” but the reality, I believe, is rather different. Embrace your nights out at Syndicate, because as far as Bristol’s nightlife is concerned, it’s as good as it gets. The self-proclaimed “superclub” is, in fact, a super club.

 

@ben_kew

  • jamie

    the people really aren’t fit, poor selection.

  • Jarmer

    This is a sarcastic article right?

    • Ben Kew

      No

  • rlweb

    Yeah, so they didn’t pay for this article right?

  • Rather have a cheeky nandos

    Haha a good atmosphere?! It’s mostly full of testosterone filled gym rat townies – it’s almost as aggressive as pryzm. And the sound system might be a funktion 1 but that doesn’t mean that it sounds good.

  • benismoist

    ben mate, this is just embarrassing, you would have been better off elsewhere, like exeter, york or judging by your writing style, maybe bedfordshire?

    • Ben Kew

      Nah mate I’m quite happy here thanks

  • John Lounge

    Ben, I feel sorry for your parents, housemates and anyone who’s ever met you – I hope you get caught being fucked by a chopper wearing chinos and a tie on the syndibooth

  • Donald Chump

    Ben Ben Ben, you are a small-minded prick.

    With regards to your first point, clubs such as Lakota and Motion offer a far more diverse selection of acts compared to your beloved Syndi. In Lakota acts from the like of Hip-Hop legend Rodney P to Mungos Hi-Fi have played recently, whilst Motion soon has Jazz legend Roy Ayers performing at a club-night, and has previously showcased everyone from Big Narstie, KRS-One to Marcell Dettmann & Lil Louis’ (i doubt you know who any of these are as unfortunately they are not your beloved ‘C’ list celebrities, but they are in fact far more diverse than your ‘everything from EDM to crappy chart music’.

    Also Flow-Dan is an MC not a DJ. Prick. Get your facts right. Therefore he does not play ‘pre-recorded beats’ unlike your beloved Jamie Laing on his laptop.

    What good atmosphere do you speak of? Syndicate is a sweat-box of sardines rubbing against each other in the tragically designed bottle-neck of a dance-floor. Chumps in red trousers trying to score lad points by pulling more birds and taking their shirts off for Syndibooth? That’s your idea of a good atmosphere, do you expect anyone to believe that?
    How about going to a nightclub where you’re not sexually objectifying woman an determining how good a night is by how many ‘you’ve pulled’. How about instead you go clubbing to have a good time and enjoy the music? How about girls don’t get groped and grinded on, and freshers aren’t chundering outside from too many Jaegerbombs with Ben and the boys.

    Have you ever bought a drink in Syndicate? Fucking expensive. By the time you’ve bought you and ‘the lads’ your round of skittle bombs your total expenditure will far exceed the £5 entry fee. Tbh mate once you’ve popped a pill and got into Motion, you wont be wasting any money on drinks inside or a pizza after. Chances are it will turn out to be a far cheaper night out than the full Syndi.

    Such is your narrow-mindedness I doubt you will ever have a true idea of what Bristol has to offer. Have you ever been to Jazz-Funk-Soul at Big Chill? a Hip-Hop night at Exchange, a Jungle night at The Black Swan? A Dub/Reggae night at Trinity Centre? A disco night at the Love Inn? I severely doubt it, but if you have and still maintain your stance, you belong in UWE

    • Ben Kew

      No need to get so bitter over somebody’s taste in nightclubs dude, I’m not stopping you from drugging yourself up and living the dream in Lakota as much as you want

      • Donald Chump Is correct

        Ben, D. Chump has it spot on, you’ve just written an article belittling others choice in nightclubs and don’t expect the same in return? In fact it’s clear to see that your article is entirely unfounded, based on ignorance and a closed mind.

        • Ben Kew

          Yes I will belittle nightclubs where it is the norm to take class A drugs which are exceedingly dangerous

          • Write an article on drugs

            If that is your true concern, why not write an article about the dangers of class A drugs then mate, im sure that would go equally as well for you in the comments section of a University filled with educated drug users

            • Ben Kew

              The Tab publishes articles that people will read, just like you have obviously done. And don’t worry I don’t lose any sleep of the comments section, anyone sad enough to engage in genuine debate about Bristol nightclubs on a Tab article isn’t really going to faze me. Anybody can write for The Tab though, and if you feel so passionately about your beloved drug-dens, I’m sure they’d be happy for you to write a counter-article explaining why you think they’re so brilliant

              • Write the article ben

                Ok lets break that down:

                ‘sad enough to engage in genuine debate about bristol nightclubs on a Tab article’
                You have just belittled not only the topic of your article but also the Tab, who (regrettably) have published it.
                ‘Anyone can write for the Tab’
                Evidently.
                ‘If you feel so passionately about your beloved drug dens…’
                If you are unable to articulate your health concerns regarding drugs consumed at other nightclubs in an article, you have no grounds to criticise their use by others

  • Lol

    Fucking hell mate …

  • cant wear my bucket hat now

    ok so they defo paid you to write this